Thursday, 8 January 2015

You know what makes me go from zero to rage? When people doubt you. I don't mean the usual doubt, the whole "Your too young, not mature enough, it'd ruin your life" kind of talk. Plenty of women my age can get pregnant and become excellent mothers. Why? Because it's maternal instinct, we are women and born with this we are born with wombs. How could a man understand this in any possible way? Tonight I was told "id rather kill myself than have a baby" why thank you, thats so sweet dear love. Just after a short conversation about friend's pregnancies and family member's new births. I am not allowed as a woman to be "broody" without it becoming the longest lecture known to man about how awful of a parent i'd be and how it'd "ruin our lives" I'm so sorry that you are that much of a child you think working two days a week, not paying any rent and generally sitting on world of warcraft all day everyday is acceptable for a 23 year old man with no goals, intentions or ambition. As a young woman, i've already achieved so much in my career, have a stable 40 hour contacted job on above average pay. Yes, in many ways I could work out more, spend less and be more organised but I'm twenty four. i'm growing everyday into the woman i'd like to become whilst you constantly complain about "being bored" and "i'll die before i'm 50 on a diet of whiskey and cheese because this world is so fucking boring". You know what? This world isn't. Despite endless love for this man many nights I just sit upset, annoyed or confused by his stupid childish actions and speech. I was born ditsy, i do things wrong, I'm not always the perfect person but does that at any point question my intelligence or future in any way? No. So when i am constantly told i'm "Stupid, a little girl, dumb" it just puts me down and makes me feel it. You know what. I'm not. I have note strength inside me to achieve my dreams and have a magnificent life thank you'd ever dream of.

Rant over. 8/01/15. Eight days in and already feeling like turd.

No comments:

Post a Comment